Feb 28, 2005


im tired of me.

pagod na ako
sa patuloy na kakaantay
sa isang tulad mo.

pagod na ako
sa buhay na inakala kong
akin pero iba
ang nagpapatakbo.

pagod na ako
sa pagasa
sa mga pangakong binitiwan mo.

pagod na ako
sa isang tulad mo.

pagod na ako.
pagod na pagod na ako.

Feb 27, 2005


eto nanaman ako, walang magawa at nan3p nnmn sa blogthings...hai hai hai. eee...kilig ako, love number ko ang fave number ko...wahahaha...babaw ko noh?hehe

Your Love Number is


You're confident and charming, which makes you able to keep your relationships fresh.
A true perfectionist, you give your all (and then some!) to your sweetie.
Honest, funny, and kind... you are the ideal lover for many.
Just don't let your jealousy get the best of you!

Feb 26, 2005


one smile
and everything seemed so right
one touch
and the sun seemed so bright
one kiss
and i felt bliss
one love
and there's nothing more
i need

ive never felt this way before
it's like someone switched on the light
and somebody opened the door.

it felt so good
i feel so right
it's just the way i wanted
it's the home ive always needed.

the stars shone on us
on that lovely evening
the moon smiled
and gave us it's blessing
the sky wept tears of gladness
there were no trace of sadness.

ive never felt this way before
it's like someone switched on the light
and somebody opened the door.

it felt so good
i feel so right
it's just the way i wanted
it's the home ive always needed.

you make me feel
this is it
this is home

yes i know. totally pathetic attempt at creating rhymes. hehe. just bear with me.

Feb 24, 2005


as usual d2 prn ako gowee...eh ksama ko meme ko ngaun..hehe *kilig* hehe...

gusto ko ulit ng kape...hmph gawa nlng me sa bahay mamya...xka yosi kme ng meme ko later...eh aun...

AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! llng...hehe ganda po xe ng blog nya...visit nyo ha...nilink ko n xa...hehe

eh aun...llng...ktbe ko c meme...loveyou...muah muah!

Feb 22, 2005


i got drunk yesterday. waah...it was so weird...but if not for that i wouldn't have guessed how much my meme cared (cares) for me. love you meme.


i am at gowee, nagsisigawan cna ate cynthia, ung bgong bantay ng gowee...grabe ang ingay nkkbinge... :)


i just smoked a couple of sticks and as usual, im craving for more...but you want to know what's weird? it's about 27 degrees outside and i am wearing a jacket. i feel cold and i have no idea why...maybe hangover...but no. im pretty sure im okay now. i don't know...well who knows? i have to get ready pa punta pa meme ko sa house maya eh.

Feb 18, 2005


i want coffee. i already had my three cups this morning but i can't seem to get enough of it. what is it with coffee that i love so much? its sensous scent - the rich aroma that fills me? its black color that seems to entice me everytime i take a quick peek before sipping it? or its uber satisfying taste of brewed coffee beans with just a little hint of sweetness? aah...im gonna make myself one now.

adik. expression ng meme ko. ang kulet ko daw tapos lagi ko pang ginagawa ung pinagdidikit ung 2 kong pointing finger?ung parang nag-a-align?ung laro ng mga baby?hehe...gwain ko xe un pg kinikilig or natutuwa or nasasad...bsta pag naooverwhelm ng mga emosyong di ko alam kung pano ie-express.

complex. life is just full of complexities. i can't get it why everytime i try my very hard to not to get entangled in this series of pulls i just always manage to attract a whole other drama. ive repeatedly said this over and over: hate drama. but it always seems to be "flung on me by people way beyond my control." (oh, tambayan ko din pala ang anonas complex...sa d-player date tapos sa gowee tapos eh ung meme ko sa g-port kaya un.)

cellphone beeps. aaugh. why did i have to lose my cellphone? it's my only form of communication when i was still in baguio. and now, im realizing i needed it more here. and well, what do i have to say for myself?...dakila.

Feb 16, 2005

hala adik nako dito...waaah!

hala lor tama nah...

You Are 23 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

romance pah...

hala, naaadik nako sa blogthings...lagot..hala!

You Are A Romantic Realist

You are more romantic than 50% of the population.

You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance.
Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know.
And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball...
But you'd never admit it to your friends!

seduction style pah? hehe

ean. wala na talga akong ma-post. kung ano-ano na lang...hehehe...cute pla sa blogthings chenelou... :)

Your Seduction Style: The Charismatic

You're beyond seductive, you're downright magnetic!
You life live and approach seduction on a grand scale.
You have an inner self confidence and energy that most people lack
It's these talents that make you seem extraordinary - and you truly are!

blind dates

warning: this is a very lame entry. just had nothing else to rant about. :)

blind dates.

(just heard that this is the topic on mellow touch's ladies' night...me just wants to comment about it.)
would you go out on a blind date?

here are some pointers to consider (even remember):

point no. 1 - the bridge

there is just one factor that lies between me and that blind date: the person who set it up. if that person is a friend of mine, then yah sure. but if s/he is a stranger (as in i-don't-even-know-your-name stranger), well i guess not.

point no. 2 - no expectations

blind dates aren't really scary. the problem with blind dates is that people (always seem to) have a lot of expectations. i mean, when you go out, do not have any expectations. as in none, zero, nada.

because if you have expectations, (need i say it?...well just for the record...) and the person does not meet those expectations, you'll just get disaapointed and label that person even before you get to know him/her. you might not know what the heck you are missing.

point no. 3 - it's just a date!

D-A-T-E. it is just a date. no need to stress yourself over it. your date may or may not be the person "you were looking for your whole life". one date. it's just one date.

it doesn't mean that if you dated this person A, he/she instantly is your boy/girlfriend. i mean hello?! you see that's the problem with most Filipinas. they have this thinking that dates are meant only for that special someone. duh. that is so like 18th century.

point no. 4 - be yourself

if you find your date totally charming and you so want to please him/her, just act natural. no need to go over the board and say you can do this or that (when in fact you so can't) just so s/he will think you're impressing. trust me, being yourself is impressing enough.

on the other hand, if you find your date overly obssessed talking about him/herself, and manages to turn the topic back to him/herself, i suggest you politely excuse yourself. tell what's on your mind. say out loud how bored you are. hehe. like what i said, be yourself.

natatak sa isip ko ung niprint ni ciara xka ate julie


wala nga naman talagang taong manhid. mga nagmamanhid-manhidan lang.

mga taong sobra sobrang nasasaktan. pero ang ipinapakita eh kabaliktaran ng kanilang nararamdaman.

mga taong palatawa, palangiti. pero sa loob nila, umiiyak, nagsisisi.

oo, nagsisisi. nagsisisi sa mga bagay na ginawa nila. ang hayaan ang puso na mahulog, para lamang saluhin ng isang libo't isang daang piraso ng bubog.

nagsisisi sa mga bagay na hindi nila nagawa o nasabi. ang pagsabi ng mga tunay nilang nararamdaman, ang pag-amin ng puso nilang naguguluhan.


oo, may mga panahong hindi mo dapat ipahalata na ikaw eh nasasaktan. hindi mo dapat ipakita na ikaw eh naguguluhan.

pero kailangan naman aminado ka sa mga nararamdaman mo. sa lahat ng pagtataguan mo, wag na wag ang sarili mo. siguro mapapaniwala mo ang utak mo, pero wala kang maitatago sa puso.

puso ang nakakaramdam, puso ang nasasaktan.
utak ang nakakaintindi, utak ang pilit na nagpapaintindi.

madalas silang magkasalungat. pero kailangan mo silang mapag-isa kung ayaw mo na ng mga sugat.

Feb 15, 2005

post valentine entry

belated happy hearts day to all...saya b ng vday nyo?


i want to eat...and drink...and smoke...somehow ive managed to make a 180-degree turn and pulled along a lot drama with me...nkkgulo ng utak...


the most important things are the hardest to say...tama ba?


gusto ko ng kape.


hala wala nako masulat..nx tym nlng...

Feb 12, 2005

wag sayangin ang brain cells sa pagiisip ng mga cheneloung machenes!

hehehe thanks beans for the words.

thanks elyon for the talk.npkatransparent ko talaga sayo.can i not hide anything from you? hehehe.


eh aun.ang saya saya ng araw ko...hehehe...ktxt q xe c meme...hehehe..pinangalanan q na pra wlang mkaalam...hihi. anyways aun ktxt q c meme tpos nkk2wa xa...hehe ang kulet ang kalog...lamo un prang npksaya nyang tao tpos nkkhawa ung kasayahan nya kya un...hehe.

mis ko meme! hehe...naman xe tagal pa ng work mo...ahmph! hehe.


btw, i had a rough night last night. actually okay nmn xo nga lang eh gn2...db nk2log n nga ko tpos ang sarap ng 2log ko...tpos bglang nanaginip ako...for like what, 7 times??i swear!grbe putol putol ung tulog ko and ang weird pa ng mga dreams ko. bute nlng d gaanong nightmares ung mga un kung nagkataon naku!


miss you meme!

bitching and alcoholism

i am in love with alcohol.

just the right amount can make you feel so so so numb. any excess can make you want to vent it all out and cry.

saktong shot lang.


you know why i love being a bad girl? because bad girls don't get hurt. they're the ones who give out hurt. cool noh? kaya nga ang saya saya ng buhay ko xe wala akong pakiramdam. manhid na ako sa lahat.

it gets depressing at times...pero sabi nga ng sis-slash-nanay ko, yosi at kabayo lang ang katapat nyan.. :)


you say you love me but you don't know me.

thanks sa lyrics, peach!

Feb 10, 2005

the first kiss is the hardest

Which kind of a kiss do you prefer? A smack, a smooch or a frenchie?

Haha. Here I go again with my non-sense monologues. You can either bear it with me or just skip this (I suggest you go with the latter).


A smack (either on the lips or the cheek) implies a friendly gesture; it is the kind of kiss you give to friends. While a frenchie on the other hand rarely counts as a romantic liplock; it usually is a lusty uninhibited act that makes you get ready for bases two, three and four.

The most romantic kiss is a smooch. Because when you kiss someone like that, it feels like you’re trying to grasp and put into memory the feel of the kiss. It’s not too gentle nor too harsh. It’s just right.

Ah, but it’s too good to be true.


Kissing someone for the first time just opens a deep hole of what-ifs. And it is these kind of what-ifs that make your head spin and your stomach churn.

What if (he/she) thought I was just playing (him/her)?
What if (he/she) was just playing me?
What if I suddenly fall; will (he/she) catch someone like me?
What if (he/she) thinks it was a mistake?
What if (he/she) thinks it was my mistake?
What if (he/she) realizes (he/she) kissed the wrong person?
What if … ?
What if … ?
What if … ?


Gulong gulo na ako. I have no idea what the heck am I gonna do. Should I be doing something?

Maybe not. I live by these words: Kung ayaw sa’yo, ‘wag mong ipagpilitan ang sarili mo.

That’s true, isn’t it? Guess I’ll have to be content sa patuloy na pagdarasal ng dasal ng mga bitter.

Haha. Bitter ka lor!

negative thoughts: anybody willing to play catch?

note: ito ay dulot lamang ng isa’t kalahating araw ng pagmomoda.

Have you ever felt so down you came to a point you where you’ve become afraid of drinking any more liquid in case you just spill it out in the form of tears? I have.

And I still wasn’t able to control myself. Tears just spilled out, as if a faucet was turned on and nobody knew how to put a cork in it.


I feel so stupid for admitting it out loud. Because like what I’ve said, admitting it out loud will just make it too real. And all I wanted was to make it go away. But no, my stupid mouth has got me in trouble I said too much again.

I know, I know, karma.

Why is it that I [1]always fall for someone who doesn’t give a damn about me; and [2]dismiss those who care so much? I guess I have to live with the fact that it is my destiny to become one of the world’s most incredible bitches and outstanding playas.


How can you make someone love you?

Well, the thing is, you can’t. All you can do is love them and hope and wish that loving them is enough reason for them to love you back.

But then again, whoever said loving someone requires that someone to love you back? Isn’t it loving is giving without any expectation of return?

Looking into another person’s eyes and feeling their hearts is such a hard thing to do. Because most people are actors. They are capable of hiding every emotion, every pain, every hurt. But be on the look-out; because nobody can take the pressure of his or her emotions being bottled-up. They will, sooner or later, crack. And when they do, don’t just stand there, be with them too.


As of now, I am balancing myself on the middle of a big big rubber band engaged in a series of pulls back and forth (and these pulls are not as any close into being used as the definition of gentle, no).

And I am about to topple over with no one to catch me.

Feb 8, 2005


eto na naman ako.ang moody ko na naman.bakit ba kasi ganito ako pag meron eh.pero teka nga, bakit ba kasi kailangang babae pa ang magkaron…at manganak?(pagpasexahan nyo na lang ang aking pagiging weird…inborn na to eh)


nga pla, naiinis ako kanina.pano ba naman, dapat ipo2st ko ung kanta sa phantom of the opera.edi tinype ko na nga.eh ang kaso biglang nag-error.basta.kaya ginawa ko eh binalik ko sa naunang page.pag tingen ko naman eh aun at wala na ung tinype ko na kanta.poof.nakakainis.


hanggang ngaun nakahilata pa rin ung the purpose driven life na libro sa kama ko.sinimulan ko xa basahin nung1st time this year na na-grounded ako.xo, hanggang chapter2 lang ang naabot ko.na grounded na nga ulet ako ngaun di prn ako nakakalipat ng chapter.fil ko kasi ang sama-sama ko na at baka maguilty lang ako lalo pag tinuloy tuloy ko pa ang pagbabasa.kaya un.

saka pala, sinimulan ko na din kasi ung lord of the flies kaya aun.


may kasalanan pala ako sa friend kong si matt.kasi nakapag-promise ako na gagawan ko xa ng tula para sa aatendan nyang debut.babasahin daw xe nya un para sa 18 shots.isa xang shot.anyways aun, eh ang nangyare nagcmba ako tapos nkasama ko si peach tapos nagkita ulet kami ni chariz tapos na-grounded ako pagdating ko.kaya aun.sori.

gusto ko ng kape.


nga pala, nagkita kami ng dati kong kada.nung HS.tapos aun.ang taba ko daw.at bakit daw hindi ako pumapasok.at bakit daw ang bad girl ko.at bakit daw nagmamadali ako.


ang gulo ng utak ko ngayon.may gusto ako na hindi ko makuha.ang taas kasi kaya di ko maabot eh.

kailangan ko na ng telepono.kasi ang hirap ko na daw mahagilap.siguro pag nag-aral na ulet ako xka ako bibigyan ulet.di importante kung may cam o wala.basta ung may maraming characters para mabilis mkpagtext.gusto kong fone na walang cam:Nokia 2300.gusto kong fone na may cam:Sony Ericsson P910i.


wala na atang sapat na oxygen ang utak ko.baka dahil puno na ang baga ko ng sariwang abo eh pumupunta na sa utak ko ung nicotine.hai hai hai.

keri lang, yosi pa.


nagugustuhan ko ung wag n wag mong sasabihin ni kitchie nadal.gusto ko na un date kaso nawala ung ‘hype’ (natutunan ko ung chenelou na hype kay peach.hehe) nung palagi ko na siya naririnig sa channel 2.tapos nagustuhan ko ulet xa ngaun xe ngaun lang ako naka-relate sa kanta.haha.

dagdag pa na paulit-ulit lang na un ang pinapatugtog ng kapatid ko.


sa mga sinabi mo na
ibang nararapat sa akin
na tunay kong mamahalin.
ohh wooh…
wag na wag mong sasabihin
na hindi mo nadama
itong pag-ibig kong handang
ibigay kahit pang kalayaan mo

Wag na Wag Mong Sasabihin
Kitchie Nadal

Feb 4, 2005


am at gowee...and the pips are eating the spag i cooked...hehe...they're shouting that it wasn't good...but they actually emptied the container...hehehe...

anyways...before i forget, my dad already talked to me yester-evening...and well, i can now go to baguio...that is, until i find that damned book ...the book that was the reason why i wasn't able to enroll last semester...grrr...


have you ever been in that situation wherein you totally do not feel anything but tears just continuously fall from your eyes?...and it's irritating 'coz you don't know how to stop it...

i guess that's what happens when you always trap all those emotions inside of you...when you haven't opened to anyone for such a long time and all those feeling of pain and anguish and hurt just overflows and no matter how hard you truly try to contain it, you just can't anymore.

i hate that...but i guess what i hate more is the fact that i'm so prone to doing just that.


i am craving for a hot cup of coffee. you know what they say?that coffee makes you feel uptight and giddy and all that?well, i don't think it actually applies to me...i mean i don't know...most people say that for you to not fall asleep, drink lots and lots of coffee...but well, i have no idea why i always seem to feel drowsy when i have had a lot of cups...*sigh*

i guess coffee does not work for me...

but it still tastes good right?


hi to aireen...hehe...at long last i was able to post something new...although it still doesn't make any sense....but anyways...hehe...

Feb 1, 2005


i am running out of things to say...gaya nga ng sabi ni ramille...tigang na s alpabeto...sa mga salita ng mundo...wala na akong maisulat pa...wala na akong maisip na ipahayag pa...

naguguluhan lang siguro ako...pero kung ganun nga lagay ko, sana matapos din 'to...mahirap xeng manahimik na lang sa lahat ng aseto ng buhay mo...kaya ko ang manahimik..yun bang hindi nagsasalita...

pero nahihirapan akong manahimik ang aking pluma...

that's the only thing that's keeping me sane and now, if that's taken away from me i have no idea where the heck i might end up.