Nov 29, 2006

conversations of a gay lizard rat and an autistic psycho humanoid freak: chapter 1

topic - mainstream writers
(in between talks of writers known, writers unwritten, writers:us)
autistic psycho humanoid freak: you know why a lot of people wants to be a writer nowadays?
gay lizard rat: why?
aphf: COOL.
glr: that four-letter word.
aphf: yep.
glr: uh huh. they've sensationalized writers.
aphf: most writers nowadays aren't just writers. they're fashion icons, as well as tv hosts, celebrities and otehr what-have-yous. they've become a part of the social scene where everybody knows everybody.
grl: they have. and i'm not saying it's such a bad thing, you know, bringing the morale of the ordinary writer to such high levels of elite-ness. but the sad thing is, they've taken the writer to a different ladder. they've repackaged her (him) as this extraordinary goddess of beauty and art, for which the latter is mostly sacrificed.
aphf: and there have actually been mainstream writers who waste words and paper and otehr people's money on such common sense thoughts on general topics of love and life and death.
glr: ugh.

topic - the lustful life of a bisexual (at most times gay) lizard rat
(a sexy pretty girl passes by)
glr: when i see girls like that, i could just imagine squeezing their bottoms hard and having sex with them.
aphf: and i thought you were plainly gay.
glr: looks could be deceiving. actions are a lot more deluding.
aphf: right.

topic - stupidity
aphf: ...which is just stupid.
glr: but stupid is not always bad.
aphf: that's right.
glr: we all harbor some stupidity in us which makes us more of who we really are.
aphf: although for some people that's exactly who they are.
glr: but that doesn't make them any less of who they are.
aphf: isn't that stupid?
glr: yes. and that's why stupidity isn't always so bad.

topic - photographs
(in between discussions of aphf's pedophilic main attractions, that attraction's love for taking photographs and our want to be actual photographers)
aphf: i really want to be one of those photograbbers.
glr: the moment stealers.
aphf: yep. wish i could.
glr: anyone can.
aphf: everyone who wanted to can. but just soem are able to.
glr: i get it. you could if you had a rather medium-sized bulky machinery with you that whirrs and flashes when you focus it on a really beautiful scrap of a moment.
aphf: good.

Nov 26, 2006


i love the crossfires at the end of a fight
i love seeing them all cuddled up so tight.

i love the wind blowing through their mud-stricken faces
i love their gasping for the air in between the spaces.

look into those hazelnut eyes
and melt with the dim glow.
i try to lose myself out of this pools
but i seem to always be losing control.

i want to take a hold of your rifle in this grey spot
take you down, take all your armor
and im going to lift you up from inside out.

i love the crossfires at the end of a fight
i love the tingles of the dim night.
i love the wind blowing through their mud-stricken faces
i love the dance of the bullets outlined into space.

Nov 25, 2006

coversations of a gay lizard-rat and a humaniod: the prologue

humanoid: its weird. what's weird? weird is ok. abnormal is not.
gay lizard-rat: abnormal is ok. it's the society that bugs all off.
h: welcome the anti-social. ... there should never be such a term.
glr: what term?
h: anti-social.
grl: yep, i guess. i mean, an anti-social has her (or his) set of circle.
h: right. they've got their own society of anti-socials, them being termed as such by those part of the other society.
glr: exactly.

Nov 21, 2006

sigh. whine.

ok. so i was making this testimonial for matt and im stuck. i said id try to put into words how much he means to me and its taking me such a long time staring at the computer screen typing nothing. (when we say put into words, it means id have to write him a poem or any lyrical something) and i now believe that i do suck at this. whatever happened?!

sigh. oh my. now i am again starting my paragraphs with sighs. oh my.

usually, when i start with sighs, i just have no other words to fill up the space with. and i don't want that. i miss having to write about everything and now being ridiculed for it. i mean, nobody's making fun of me but whatever. i know i cant write half as much as i can back then. and i don't want that. ok. im being bitter already. pang bang wham!


ok. i just finished my testimonial for him. yay. oh my. its already 3am and i still have to go to work. damn. i really have to have a laptop now. its really necessary for me. well, just a credit card and six more paydays to go.