May 13, 2007


i have a splitting headache. it started yesterday when i was at boyfriend's house, spending the day away. i woke up late so i was in no hurry to go to work and decided i'd call-in-sick and i did. so after boyfriend's shift, we ate breakfast in chowking at kamuning and then went home to while away. and then the headaches started. it really made me cry. seriously. good thing i was with boyfriend, though. he at least soothed the pain for quite a bit. but this is actually unexpected, the migraine. i've been having migraine attack ( which actually caused me to be confined in a hospital) when iwas still a kid and some ocassional attacks when i was in high school. but i thought these things stopped when i entered college. boy was i wrong.

but really, it was quite unexpected since i haven't had a migraine attack for like, years now. and then here it comes again.

wait, is there really such a thing as unexpected? i mean, what do you think? like this migraine of mine, for example, was it really unexpected or did i just fail to notice the signs? like not fully drying my hair before going to sleep, too much exposure to the computer screen, disturbing ungodly work hours... i guess there's no such thing as unexpected. what we might not be expecting was already predicted by someone else to happen to us. or we just failed to see the signs leading to that certain event, or we didn't want to recognize the signs leading to the event. i don't know. it makes me a bit confused now.

**i've thought about this unexpected thing when i was lying in bed last night, nursing a splitting headache and me thinking just made it worse. i guess that's what happens when even your mind is too stubborn to listen to you.

May 6, 2007

everyday questions and your not-so-typical answers.

i have again, filled my post with a list of blogthings. i mean, i was just supposed to answer some random survey in the bulletin boards of friendster to pass some time before heading off to snoozeland but then i remembered blogthings and tada! here's what you get.

anyway, while i answer the questions at blogthings, i hear the senatoriables making up answers of their own in front of national tv and their opponents. and to eb honest, i got surprised at realizing there are some candidates i didn't even know had it in them to run. i mean, the shame? hahahahaha.

there are some tried and tested candidates who actually know what they're doing, i mean, aside from really understanding the questions and all, but hey, you can't blame those other wanna-bes.

some candidates who don't have any idea at all about politics just simply sway the questions and blow answers out of proportions, reeling away from the topic of it all. plis, when all else fails, just blame the effing gov't for chrissake. and tell everyone how good they are and how better off we can be with them in the seats.

i wish i could have watched this from the very beginning. i could have added some very interesting quotes here.

sigh. they're almost done anyway so i'd better get ready for sleeping.

**add-on: they have this questions from other candidates and lozano asked this: paano makakabawi sa milyun-milyong ginastos sa pangangampanya? i actually had to laugh at it but then it got corny since the one who's supposed to answer it was some guy who didn't even had any million to spend on his campaigning. imagine if it were some wealthy bussiness man like, say, pichay? hahahahaha!

blogthings addict.

Your Love Quote

Love is made by two people, in different kinds of solitude. It can be in a crowd, but in an oblivious crowd.

**this is actually nice. i didn't expect having to get a lovely random quote at one try. :)

Your Uncommon Name Is:

Dagny Cayla Crooker

**teehee. just imagine, if i had this name, my nickname would most probably be "dag" which most people would make laughing jokes and turn to "dawg"...which would sound like "dog." arf, arf, anyone?

Your Body Image is 8% Unhealthy, 92% Healthy

You have a great body image. You know that no one looks perfect, and you're happy the way you are.
Also, you don't judge other people on their looks... and it helps them feel better about their own bodies!

**seriously? i have a healthy image! seriously? really?

You Can Make 81% of Your Crushes Fall in Love With You

Admit it, you can seduce practically anyone. And sometimes you try just for fun.
You're a total heartbreaker that knows when to play it cool.
You are the type of person people go completely lovesick over. Just use your powers for good, okay?

**aww, just 81%? that's a bit low, don't you think? hahaha. ambisyosa!

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are secretly sensitive, but you often put up a front.
Shy and private, you yearn for security.
You take relationships slowly.
You need lots of reassurances before you can trust.
What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

**i guess this reveals a lot...more for me, that is.

You Are 98% Feminist

You are a total feminist. This doesn't mean you're a man hater (in fact, you may be a man).
You just think that men and women should be treated equally. It's a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action.
Are You a Feminist?

**i am a woman. and i want to live a life free of all distinctions for my body parts.

Your Stress Level is: 70%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now.
Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out.
Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only wa you'll get through the bad times.
How Stressed Are You?

**help me. this isn't good for me. a 70% level of stress is already over-the-top for me.

You Are Glam Sexy

You live for flaunting your sexiness, and you totally work it.
Why not? You've got the goods - you might as well use them.
You're 100% woman, and you never go out without looking your best.
After all, you never can tell when you might bump into Mr. Perfect!

a hearty morning.

i could seriously feel myself drowning in the cold winds that come after a slight pour. and all these is from the dynaflex fan that i got to steady at my side. ahh. i could just imagine myself at someplace cold, like the view deck at baguio. or just at some random terrace here and there, drawing all curtains to bask the room with all the sun's glory, while smelling the minty fresh scents of pine trees at an early morning.

and when i get back into the room, i find myself making a homemade breakfast for my still-sleepy boyfriend whom i wake up and stuff with bear hugs and early-morning cuddling. then i turn up the country sound from the music player we brought and eat a hearty meal i've prepared. we gush at the serenity of it all, talk about the places we'd be visiting, stores we'd haggle prices with the vendors at, chic restaurants we'd be filling ourselves with (this he can't come up with any ideas since we're eating and he's almost full and that's what happens to him when he's almost full - can't think of any more food.), long roads where we'd walk hand-in-hand with, and a million other things. we laugh at most, making faces with an imaginary camera. then really taking the digicam we brought with us and taking early bird shots.

we both go to the terrace with our cups of chocolates on our hands, with me snuggling close to him and breathing in his scent, mingled with the freshness of teh cold baguio morning. we stand at the deck and just stare at the poignant landscaoe, knowing how we'd ever be as close to such a beautifully set stage as this when we go back home. so we drown ourselves in the beauty, silently.

when i noticed that my cup of chocolate was near to being finished, i broke free from his grasp and went back to the room. i could feel the weight of his stare pierce holes through my retreating back, and i allow myself take pleasure in his loving stare. i meticuously clean all that's left of our breakfast in bed and unhurriedly walk to the sink and wash the dishes. he comes to me, embraces me from behind and shoves his used cup into the sink. i tell him we better get ready for the day and he kisses the sides of my neck before leaving to get the shower ready for our bath.

he takes the towels from the drawer and turns the shower knobs on for a hot bath. when he sees me getting done with teh dishes, he pulls me to him and we both get ready to bathe. as he finishes, i wash the hot oil conditioner off of my hair and reaches for the towel wrapped around his waist. he laughs it off and continues to unhurriedly brush his teeth. we get done with all the washing and cleaning and had to take time to finish off deciding which outfits to wear.

we both decide on donning shorts and slippers and light-fabric shirts with our white-on-green and yellow-on-brown tightfit jackets. we dump all our belongings, the music player, the digicam, the sunglasses, the wallets, the hankies, the powders, mirrors, combs and our bottle of water at the mesh messenger bag he brought for me especially for this trip. we then fish the keys from the glass bowl and close the door behind us, totally ready for the day ahead.

un-complicate me.

i have long since forgotten my blog. i guess that's what happens when you overwhelm yourself with stuff (plain, out-of-this-world-or-age stuff) you're not supposed to overwhelm yourself in, like say, five more years or so. but hey, that's me. always in such a hurry to grow up.

i have had a lot of down times the past few days. or the past three months, more like...

gawd. i'm stuck. i'm serious. teh only time i ever truly got into writing another set of paragraphs or lists of rants and raves or strung phrases for stanzas of poetry was like a zillion years ago. well, more like months ago. and i feel bad. this is a bad case of writer's block, if you could call it that. and i know i've been complaining about this for a long time already but i just can't help it. i wanted to be more. i wanted to do more. i should be moving on than letting myself get stuck like this.

but in the hopes of defending my worn-out lithe frameless body, i can't really blame me. i've lost track of all time i thought i had when i decided on doing this one thing i've been doing for more than a year now. it's like, i don't even own my time. i don't een anything to call "my time." and it's sad. i've been putting on a lot of things and i guess i've put off on doing the one thing love most (writing) for too long. but when i get home, i am so freaking tired all i want to do is get sleep time. i don't even get to eat dinner at home anymore. why?i don't have the time! i have to sleep as much as i can to be able to prep myself up for the next day. and the next day? i again won't be able to do what i want to do at work since, you guessed right, i don't have the time! i have to focus all on my work or else. and when i get off from work, there are a lot of other responsibilities i have to attend to, which i do not regret for the most part, because that's when i get to spend time with matt. but do you see where it all leaves me? i am left with no time for me. great. just great.

then this happens. only a few people know about this, mostly my officemates since they're the ones i get to be with for the most part of my days. and i'm not saying they're not being thoroughly supportive of it, i know they are. they're worried and concerned. but i guess, that's not teh concern i'm looking for. i even have times i want this thing to end but when i'm with matt, ijust wish for this to speed up, you know?

aargh. basta. things are complicated. this is complicated. i am complicated.

**thanks to matt for times he un-complicates me.