Nov 30, 2007

makati standoff: media overkill

When i was 10, everyone who asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up got two answers - a writer and a broadcaster. as such, i pursued a that career path in college. i took communication arts in up baguio, majoring in broadcast communication. when household fees got higher and i became a different me in school, i was brought back to manila, got out of up and transferred to ue. since the communicationa rts course was dissolved teh year before i got in, i took the option of broadcast communication and after being enrolled in teh said school for a year and a half, i went awol. up til now, i am yet to reunite with the buildings of higher learning. but even without proper education about teh language and basics of broadcasing for almost two years, i am still in love with the thought of someday being on teh screens of everyon'e tv sets, reporting the news, live or otherwise.

but as the state of unrest in manila pen hotel subsides down, we see media mean get arrested one-by-one, with their video cameras, laptops, media news team vans confiscated and taken over. in addition, they are put inside buses, with the windows ordered shut. while on one corner, some media men are told they are ebing taken as witnesses AND suspects. but without batting an eyelash, defense sec. gen. cleared this issue by stating that they received information that some magdalo officials will pose as media men and civilian, that;'s why they had to arrest everyoneon site, including legit press people.

this is a scary sight.

no matter what their resons are, the media being treated as prisoners (with hands cuffed by plastic cable wires) are simply stepping on the bounds of democracy, of freedom of expression, and the right of the people to be informed.if prees freedom is reduced to this, what's next? to see before your very eyes one of teh most powerful and most influential part of teh society taken down just like that, you begin to wonder, what happens to us, then? if our ways of communciation are gagged up just like that, what happens to our voices?

to ponder on all of this, you start to wonder about the root of it all. are these certain officials merely doing it for control of power? or are they really working towards a brighter future for the people concerned but are not showing concern? blind governance?

what attracted me most to teh job of a broadcaster was simply because they get to be seen on tv, doing something that i know i can do - not singing, not dancing, not acting. but as time passed, i became aloof to news and current events which had my interest in that career seem to wane. but thanks to Tabak, not only did they renew my interest in the field, they also opened my eyes to the realities different people from all walks of life face in our society. i'd like to say i understand where the people involved in the manila pen incident, and all that happened thereon (media arrest primarily), are coming from. but i'm still learning.

**this is too much rant.

bad mommy case #1

(a repost from yesterday afternoon)
My bookmarks page has gone awol so i decided browsing the web for some mommy blogs. Ever since i became pregnant, i got fond of reading other mom's thoughts and even had teh capability to understand the way my own mom thinks. i guess that's just what happens when you experience how it is giving birth and all the other insanities that came with it.

so anyway, i found this mom diary wherein she had a monthly update of her son's activities. posted there are stuff like, her son's first smile, first laugh, first word, and a lot more. then i became inggit. sobra. i suddenly felt like i missed out a lot on putting what keisha has done and is doing on writing. i felt embarrased at having only two journal entries ever since keisha arrived. but tehn i realized, as i was reading other mommy blogs, i have a lifetime filling up pages with her. for now, i'd try to cherish every single moment i have with her. especially now that i'm returning to work in more than a couple of days.

yes, i am going to pursue this job offered to me. i already turned a couple and more and i think i just can't keep on turning them down. as time passes, eish is growing bigger and taller and her needs have now come in large quantities - her formula milk, her diapers... and we just can't afford her pedia anymore if i don't start getting paid bi-weekly. besides, this newest job offer is simply too good to pass up. i just have to do time management and drink lots of supplements to not amke me cranky everytime i need to be dearest-mommy.

oops. eish is wailing for her milk bottle!

Nov 27, 2007


i'm just stealing some time away as i type furiously on this keyboard while boyfriend dearest holds baby keisha in his arms. aww. such a sweet sight. and true enough, nothing ever really did prep me up for what is in front of me. (at my back, actually, since im facing teh computer screen while they're standing behind me, watching tv.)

it's seriously overwhelming having to see my two most loved persons in each other's company, in total and unmistakable peace. and these are rare times, i tell you. baby keisha can drive anyone crazy once she has one of her colic attacks. i admit, i do get a bit inis at times, more to myself, of course, for not being able to soothe any pain that might be the cause of her incosolable cries. but all in all, the intensity of the feelings her smiles and comfort brings far outweighs the scary thoughts of not being good enough for her when she cries.


oops. i now have her in my arms. suko si daddy mattie, she weighs 3.9 kgs already, imagine! a 1.7 kg growth in her weight after a month. i have to go now, she cried again and i had to pass her to matt again and i really really have to go now.

Nov 21, 2007

a real blessing

eish and i went to the hospital yesterday for her weekly pedia checkup. we went there by tric because it's near our place and besides, her dad didn't give us enough money for a cab ride. plus, it's realy hard to get a cab in our place. the enarest where we can get a cab is somewhere which already so near teh hospital it'd be stupid to even ride one.

anyway anyway, when we got to the hospital, i paid the manong tric a 20peso bill and he asked his friend to exchange the bill to get me my change. while waiting for his friend, he asked if my baby was a boy or a girl. i said she is a girl. then he told me how lucky i am to have a baby already because he and his wife have been trying to have one for 11 years now. i told him the time will come and he will just have to wait some more. thenhis friend came and i got my change.

all the way to teh pedia's room, i kept on thinking about what he said and it just dawned on me that no matter how untimely keisha's arrival was, i am still so very lucky. matt and i are still so very lucky because not everyone can get to have babies in their entire lifetime. and now i get to appreciate keisha more nad more (if ever that's possible). amnd everyday i feel more how much of a blessing she really truly is.

to be honest, not everyone would be all-smiles when they get first-hand knowledge of my daughter. some would even cringe and say, hey, aren't you too young to have a baby? or ahve you even finished your schooling, little girl? these things really tug at your heartstrings and make you think and look back on your past and it also makes you wish sometimes for the past to be back and take you with it. but i guess, now, i don't feel like that anymore.

i won't be plastic and say how very ultimately wonderful life has been after giving birth. i mean, it really hasn't given me enough sleep, enough time, enough anything. but i'm not complaining. it's been equally fulfilling (gehlo's word) and i just can't get enough of eish.

keisha has been such a blessing to everyone. to me, to matt, to our families. and i'm very positive with her future. matt and i promised to give her the best of what life has to offer. and we'll try our best to fulfill that promise to our little angel. after all the blessing she has awarded us with - her smiles, her laughter, her firm grips, she definitely deserves it all.

Nov 20, 2007

first mommy diary entry

i finally get some time to blog. honestly, after eish arrievd there was nothing else i could do but tend to her needs. and im not complaining. i love it so much. i love taking care of her, i love looking at her, i love talking to her, i love feeding her, i love changing her diapers, i love carrying her, i love putting manznilla on her stomach when she has one of her colic attacks..oh my the list just goes on and on.

we're at our house, by the way. we only get to spend the weekends with her dad at their house, from saturday afternoon when her dad picks us up adn until tuesday mornings, since matt doesn't have a class during mondays. he's having his 3-day retreat at tagaytay today pala. he's supposed to go home tomorrow. and we can't wait. i mean, we've never really spent more than a day apart in more than two years now. i's weird.

anyway, i'm supposed to go back to work yesterday. ict called me last friday and it took me until 10pm to sign the contract and have everything cleared and done. my trainingw as scheduled yesterday at 11am but i wasn't able to come since i couldn't have anyone look after eish for me. i mean, matt's not around, my mom's not able to take a leave and i just couldn't find myself a decent nanny. and even if i could, i feel like i don't have it in me to leave my baby with anyone i don't think i can trust. gosh. and i really really need to get back to work. i have a lot of bills piled up and a lot of things on our to-buy list.

i guess i don't know what to do right now. but i think my mom is right. she told me to simply take care fo eish as she grows. there are still a lot of jobs out there and they just have to wait. al;though im thinking, i've sent emails of my resume to a lot of different companies and i've been getting calls for invites to interviews but i just can't keep saying no. i mean, hello? i was the one who sent them in teh first place and when they take notice, i turn them down. may starcom and lola mo. taray.

oh wait. the new adventures of old christine is almost over. and it's time for sex and the city. good. it means i've been at this for almost half an hour already and she hasn't stirred or waken up or anything. which means she will in a few minutes time. you know, im still trying to keep track of her waking hours. usually, after she's fed, she sleeps for about 3hours and wakes up just to drink milk again. she doesn't complain of wee wee or poop in her diapers as long as she's fed. which is the reason why we found out last time she already has rashes in her butt area which we immediately fixed with lotion. the rashes are disappearing now but im not taking any chances and still put lotion on her buttocks. and i also do change her diaper every now and then, even if it's not too wet or even if she hasn't made poop yet. just to make sure. although it's costing us 160+ for a 24pc pack.