and just as I entered the door going to the office, I smelled the stinking feeling of dread. I really thought I was going to WANT to come back to work after a long vacation. That was the reason why I wanted to turn in my resignation before I went on leave - because I was scared I wouldn't be able to do it when I came back 'cause I would miss doing something, working.
But as it turns out, the feeling was still the same. I still felt tired of the routine. I still didn't feel like I was actually doing any writing.
It's sad. But there are bills to pay. But. Once I get done with that and still don't get what I know (and countless people before me know) I deserve, I'm going. Will work with my tito for a bit and then get back to writing.
I will write. I don't yet know why I NEED to write. But I will.
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I scribble a lot in reverse and play with words so much I think they have temporarily abandoned me like a lover scorned.