I wanted

to write and rant on a new post, on this post, on this new post.

But then I realized I wanted to write on paper, instead. So maybe later, or whole lot of laters after, I'll transcribe what I've written on paper.

Because I miss paper. and its blankness. and its clarity. I miss how you don't need a squiggly red line under your words to know something is spelled wrong, or a green one to tell you something isn't right, the thought, the idea, doesn't seem to come out clear.

But what I miss most on paper is that editing yourself is a lot easier. Writing and re-writing is a lot easier because the words are still there. Written over by a couple or so lines, yet, they are there. The words are still.

The words are still. The words are unmoving and moving at the same time. The words are there and yet they aren't.

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Today

had me do these:
1. Buy two new books. (Women Loving by Jhoanna Lynn B. Cruz, Mens Rea and other stories by Lakambini Sitoy)

2. Chop my hair shooooooooort. (I had really wanted to do something with my ever-growing hair and I am still too cowardly to dye it red or any other color for that matter so I succumbed to what I've always done - chop it short. Them tresses will grow back anyway. ;)

3. Take girlfriend out for OLA isaw and a pasta-pizza and Starbucks date.

but not this:
1. See Keisha.

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primer

just forced myself to write something. anything. so i clicked NEW POST and then just stared blankly at the whiteness of the space i was supposed to create something on with.

i want to write something about kacy, my best friend, my girlfriend, my future wife, who's sleeping beside me right now with her arms wrapped around my waist. she always sleeps like that when i'm still doing something on the computer. she'd have her arms around my waist, or on my legs, or she'd curl up next to me, place her head on my lap, stuff like that. and i want so much to write about her and her and her and us.

but since we just got an almost same schedule for this next two weeks (her 6am-2pm, mine 7am-4pm), i would rather spend my days talking with her than speedtyping about us for a couple or so hours.

(but don't worry dear blog, i've missed you so much i've been visiting you often. so don't make tampo. i'll try to write as often as i can.)

just like earlier, when i got home, we watched a movie while having dinner and then had so much fun talking, sharing stories about work and things in between and then had another rounds of birthdays ;) and i was going to spend some time writing a post entirely about her and how we met and how we got started and how we got together and how we're getting married and living in together and adopting a cat and having kids..

but i can't because my eyes are drooping and if i don't sleep she'll have a hard time waking me up and i'd feel bad seeing her prepare breakfast and baon for us while my lazy ass is stuck in bed caught in between bouts of consciousness.

so i'd have to end this rant now, unfortunately.

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Sunday night rambling part 2

I cannot believe it's been so long since I last posted here. My life has taken an almost 180 degree turn...for the better, apparently.

Just last month I quit my hopeless dead end mediocre job of a year and 2 months and shifted gears into a career I absolutely adore. Writing.

Yes. Call me Junior Writer. I cannot stop loving every minute of just thinking about what I do for a living. But more than that, I cannot stop falling in love everyday with my best friend. And as much as I would want to continue gabbing on about the sweetest girlfriend in the whole world ever, I have to stop myself and save it for a different post.

Girlfriend deserves an entire entry for her. And I'd want to surprise her with it, if I can. I'm just so lousy at surprises. Sometimes I feel like I have the best surprise idea ever but I can't help squealing about it and then just spilling the beans to the person I am supposed to actually surprise. Boo me, I know.

Anyway, I just still can't believe I'm finally writing in you again, blogger. :) I missed all the personal stuff in here. I miss the me that once used to write so much in so little time. And the me that sometimes surprises the me with the words.

But I have to  bid goodnight then, as I am now part of the working class that starts their week on an early Monday morning. Till next post.

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Sunday night rambling

I can't be bothered with all the little details. I won't. I can't let myself think so much about so many little things. And i will not.

If I can help it.

I'm just so tired of all the negativity I have in me. For the past 5 months I've never been as happy as with the last 6 years of my life. And I just don't want to complicate everything because of this nagging little pessimist in me.

Help me, my little stars.

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