sod off.

i am so pissed off. yeah i do get home at an ungodly hour because i have work. but to go home at such an hour (and not even actually going home just lainly leaving the place you were at) with your 2 month old daughter at your house waiting for you to come home?! your house even! i am so pissed off. i could just kill someone right now. the nerve! what kind of a parent would do that? stupid useless gits i suppose. i am so angry i could definitely burst. that s why i had to write this down. i don t know what id do if i didn t blog about this. imagine! imagine!

oh my god. i am so tired. i'm sick because of the rain yesterday MORNING and now this. sarap diba? kamusta naman. god, what do you say to those kind of people? if you becomemabait and malambing and understanding they don t have it in themselves to say sorry thinking eveything s okay naman why say sorry pa. and if you give them the cold shoulder they ll be the ones angry pa, asking you what s wrong making you kulet then when you tell them , they will get a lot angrier pa and won t say sorry pa after the conversation. tapos when you approach them na galit (because that s how you feel eh you re mad na nga diba) they ll counter you with a series of angry outbursts as well. hay sarap. imagine! imagine!

sidedish. i just love saying the word imagine. obviously.

back to my rant. grrr. i am so angry. i m not even hungry anymore. i didn t have much for lunch at work and was hoping to get eat at home but this came first so good luck with my appetite. my eating hours are already very abnormal and when i get hungry pa this is what happens. shoot.

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just don t tell me what to do when it comes to loving you.

as with previous posts, i just came home from work. and the nature of my job is really boring but the conversations are funny so that makes up for it.anyway, yes. i do have work now. wait, have i just mentioned that in one of my posts?lemme see, hmmm...oh wait well no, i haven't so there. and we finally found a yaya for baby which a good thing but the bad thing is the yaya would just like to stay at their (matt's) house so i don t get to spend as much of my time with baby but i do get to see her everyday as much as i want of course. but then i still can t do that since my body needs rest and that s the whole point of us having a yaya.

anyway, one thing i don t like about my work is of course the shifting schedule. super mega duper shift! i even get 2 shifts in one day. san ka pa so kamusta ang bugbog na katawan. also, with that shift in sked i don t get to see more of baby when she s awake and being her kulit self because our waking times do match so when i m at work that s when she s super awake and when i m about to sleep she s far ahead of me on that one and all i can do is basically lie beside her and watch her and hear her heavy breathing. yep heavy breathing - she s having a hard time because she has na naman sipon plus she also has a bit of cough so i m sad i can t be there for her all the time but i have to work and that s what buys her milk and diapers and vaccine fees and doctor fees and everything else she would be needing. except of course, motherly affection but she still doesn t understand that yet so let s leave it at that muna.

but there are of course also perks in my current job which is the 2 day off (days of which are totally unpredictable) and the high salary, which is double my previous income. an offer too good to resist so i toook bait. so see, that s what pays everything mostly, and i just bought me and matt new eyeglasses since nag zoom pataas ang aming mga grado sa mata kamusta naman un diba!

speaking of matt, i had a crazy post partum depression attack last wednesday and i ahd cried myself more than 2 hours, hicucupping more than 30 minutes and super hikbi sobra. that was how it felt pala. i don t want that na. i promise. it s the worse kind of feeling. ultimate depression that makes you want to just die and i was even banging my head on the walls and punching myself and trying hard to kick myself (which is by far the hardest thing i ever attempted to do). i wish not a lot of people experience that. especially new moms. it s nerve racking. it made me look like a stupid brat. it made me look like a crazy woman. it made me feel like a crazy woman.

at work, the only thing we re allowed to bring on the floor are our wallets and books or any reading material. we are not allowed our phones (which is nakakatakas naman talaga ever) and pens. that s why i am yet again thrown into the realms of literacy confinement. i get to read but not to write. what good is that? well, there is good in it. i just feel like i ve missed my pen so much and i haven t again for the nth time made anything wrote anything. not a damn thing. just this rant. this and only this. sad. but who knows, maybe i ll be able to make more of this since the network connection at home just got up again. yay.

time check 5.24 i have to get off now i need to freshen up before taking matt to school. this is the only time kasi we get to meetthis day so make the most out of that 1 hour. paganda muna. as if i need it di ba!haha! if you d just look at me now. conceited! hahaha ganyan talaga nagagawa ng pagiging new mommy feeling pinakamaganda sa buong universe. :)


"i will live and die for you
give everything you want me to
just don t ever try to tell me what to do
when it comes to loving you..."

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bored from work part 3

What Keisha Janeen Ordoño Aquino Means

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.People see you as a complete enigma, and only you truly understand who you are.You spend most of your time introspecting and seeking truth.You're a very interesting person... but not many people know you enough to realize it.You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

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bored from work

What Mary Loreneen Elardo Ordoño Means

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

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