"i could fall asleep in those eyes like a water bed"

i am on the verge of tears just browsing through all our pictures and realizing how much i really miss holding you close. there's no other word for it. i miss you. i miss you so much it's already killing me. but i have to do this. we have to be strong for us. i know we'd get through. it's just that, i miss you.

everytime we are not together i just think of you and when im with you im just wishing for the whole world to stop revolving and just get stuck at that point in time when we are finally together and i get to hold you close and laugh with you and share everything with you and just plainly love you - i just want to make you feel loved.

please don't hold back. i feel down everytime i try to give all effort and not feel as appreciated as should be. but i knowi should not expect things from anyone, most especially you. but i guess you're the one thing that gives me life and as well as kills me. i love you so much.

to love you would mean to risk all that i have within me.
to love you would mean to lose sight of myself.
to love you would mean to write a thousand poems of collision.
to love you would mean to get out of this box i am in.
to love you would mean freedom.
to love you would mean to say i love you and mean it.
to love you would mean .. bliss.

"Here I am, lost in the ashes of time, but who wants tomorrow?
In between the longing to hold you again
I'm caught in your shadow, I'm losing control
My mind drifts away, we only have today"
-afterglow, INXS

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sorry had to cut this post short. i still need sleep.

now i really have serious belief that there is something wrong with my template. the big picture on top of it all (i mean, the one on the top..damn) does not pop out. grr. and i was loving this template already. hmm... maybe its time for me to change things up. thanks for the maker of this template. it was good until it lasted. i loved the green so much. :)

anyways, i was just browsing through blogskins and i haven't found anything that'd suit my taste. 'coz im still in love with this skin. duh...wahat happened xe sa chuva na pic...haai.

by the way, im already pretty tired but i have so many things to say. where to start? where to start?

1. uhh...still don't know where to start..

maybe ill just make the updates some other time. i really need sleep.

i just have the monday off for this week but i still have to go to class that day. ok. such joy, right? but i do enjoy this life. plus, my baby mattie and i are ok now. so what else is there to bother me (home...) well, i didn't really care that much about home so why would i care or it now? sigh.

before i let this post put well, on post, i just wanna give a BIG SHOUT OUT to my baby... THANK YOU for YOU!

(he surprised me yesterday with a long-stemmed rose the color of my shirt just as i was making my last call in the office. it was...overwhelming when i saw his friend handcarry the rose to me. everyone was looking at em and all and...aah. i felt really really special at that moment.

more of this next time. much more.

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sing with the clown's cry

its not enough to be you anymore.

many times in my sleep i dream
the weirdest braided dream i ever could be in

the tangle of arms and the shadow of the lights
the glow of the red night
clinging softly yet it never fades.

i never asked fo rthe stars
i never asked for the night
i never asked for the sparks
i never asked for the lights

the silhoutte you left on my night light
shines ever so brightly in the sun
and the warmth of all the things left unsaid
tingles me with thoughts of immeasureble
uncertainty in the darkness of your glow

i long for the scraps and the bits
and the tiny pieces of ashes on snow

i yearn for the flaps and the claps
after the comic's one man show.

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realidaya

i want to cry. and not because of some sappy thing like im tired of this life, im so burned out, my boyfriend cheated on me (as if that will ever happen!)..no. i want to cry because i miss TABAK.

i was browsing through a friend's page in friendster and i saw it...tabak pics. old tabak pics...sigh.

i miss tabak's principle. i miss tabak's comfort-the thing is, no matter what happens, you know tabak is there for you, the whole of tabak is gonna be there. it was tabak which taught me that i can really do more, that i should fight for what's right and not just go with the flow. tabak taught me to be a non-conformist, to not try to please everyone else, to satisfy the country's thirst before one's self.

i just miss TABAK.

by the way, realidaya was the song by kuya iko which razel, ate yello and i made steps to and which we danced at the major prod we had that year, MULAT.

aaw. i just looked at tabak's page and i saw the photo albums...aaw. i miss the tabak family.

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grabbed from a friend's post

[-] You know someone that cares about you.
[-] You have a boyfriend/ girlfriend/fiancee/husband/ wife.
[ ] You have your own room.
[-] You own a cell phone.
[-] You get good grades.
[ ] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.
[-] Your parents are still married.
[-] You have more than 2 best friends.
[ ] There is a swimming pool in your backyard.
[-] You live in a house.

T O T A L: 7

[-] You dress how you want to.
[-] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[-] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.
[-] You have never been beaten up.
[?] You never cry more than twice a month.
[-] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[ ] Your room is big enough for you.
[-] People don't use you for something you have.
[-] You have been to a concert.
[-] You laugh more than twice a day.

T O T A L: 8

[-] You have over 100 friends on friendster.
[-] You have pictures on friendster.
[-] You get allowance.
[ ] You collect something normal.
[-] People don't make fun of you to be mean.
[-] You look foward to go to school.
[-] You don't wish you were someone else.
[-] You play a sport.
[-] You do something after school.
[-] You shower daily.

T O T A L: 9

[ ] You own a car.
[ ] You usually don't fight with your parents.
[?] You're healthy.
[ ] You've never had a cavity.
[-] You are happy with your appearance.
[ ] You aren't self-consious at all.
[ ] You have never got a failing grade in your life.
[-] You have friends.
[-] You have so many inside jokes with friends.
[ ] You know your parents care and love you.

T O T A L: 3

[-] You know what is going on in the world.
[-] You care about sooo many people.
[-] You are happy with your life.
[-] You usually aren't sick.
[-] You know more than one language.
[-] You have a screen name.
[ ] You own a pet.
[-] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[-] You don't have many enemies.
[-] You are happy you're living.

T O T A L: 9

GRAND TOTAL :
Now count up the number and multiply by
2. Then
repost saying 'My life is __% perfect’

33x2=66%


ok.so my life isn't a 100% perfect.then again, whose life is?

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